The Best Time of Your Life

Mom (Margaret Walls) with grandchildren Erica, Lora, Sarah and Dearl. Tom is a brother to Lora and Sarah and was born 15 months after Sarah. 

Photo by

  
Lloyd Walls  

Written by 
LeRoy Walls 
CEO 

Given to Margaret Walls for Mother’s Day, 2000

As I and those around me have aged, I’ve learned a few lessons about what’s important to individuals and even to businesses. It’s clear, at least to me, that people are so very important. Over the Christmas holidays as I observed the interaction of family with my 85 year old mom, my beliefs were further reinforced.

It was Friday, Christmas Eve day, and since my son, Tom, and his family wouldn’t be in Cabool on Sunday for the “Walls Christmas,” we went out to see Mom and Dad. Joining Paula and me were Tom, Joanne, his wife and their two kids—Sydney, age 4, and Zac, age 2, and their cousin Alexandra. Sydney will rarely let her cousin, Alex, out of her sight on their visits to Cabool from Kansas City.

My dad met us at the door, and as we approached the living room, Mom got up from her chair, stiffly but with as much grace as her increasing frailty would allow. “Well, there’s my Tom,” she said as she gave him a hug. She proceeded around the group giving hugs and making over the kids. Dad joined in this as well. He cares as deeply for his family but is more reserved in showing his love. Much too quickly to suit Mom, Alex took Sydney back to the sun porch where Mom still keeps toys and games for the kids.

Mom had come through the hard times of farming with long hours of toil on the farm, garden, yard and in our home. Yet she would always find time to have fun. Mom has played ball and board games with not only her 5 kids and 12 grandkids but still does the best she can in playing with her great grandchildren (15 so far).

As the adults found seats and her Christmas candy, Mom tried to find toys that would interest Zac. This happened in the midst of Alex and Sydney darting in and out of the room. “Lookey here, Zac!” she said as she shook a red toy in front of him. “You’re a good looking boy”, she said as she tried to make up to Zac and get him on her lap. She has a gift for drawing in great grandchildren and other children (who rarely see her) so that they feel the love radiating from what they perhaps consider an old woman.

Her comment to me about Zac (at the Walls Christmas the following Sunday) was, “Zac seems and looks so normal. Surely his autism isn’t very serious or else he is making great progress.” I was pleased to report that with Joanne and Tom’s hard work supported by his therapists, Zac is indeed making noticeable gains.

In the midst of Dad and Mom’s catching up on things with Tom and Joanne, I heard Mom say, “Tom are you and Joanne settled into a church up there?” Tom assured her they were and that matters of spirituality have taken on new meaning to him in part due to becoming a parent. Although her questions can still make me squirm—her sermons are rarely verbal but are just in the humble way she lives her life. Her faith is not expressed in theological discussions but by an unquestioning faith in God coupled with honest helpfulness to her friends and neighbors. For a lifetime, as the oldest of Oscar and Lottie Douglas’ seven kids, she’s been looking after folks. Goodness seems to just naturally flow from her.

Pretty soon Mom asked Sydney, “How old are you?” and watched Sydney hold up three, then quickly changed to four fingers. Mom then said, “Tom, you may not realize it now, but with your kids close around you—this is the best time of your life. Lots of folks don’t realize it, and soon that precious time while their children are growing up has passed them by.”

Soon it was time to exchange gifts with Tom and his family. Mom and Dad’s Christmas gifts to their great grandchildren are simple, inexpensive playthings. Gifts to their children and grandchildren, over the last couple of years, have been Mom’s special old dishes, embroidered linens, crocheted doilies, scrapbooks and other things she now considers useless to her—but we consider priceless. She and Dad no longer care much for clothes, as they know they have a closetful of clothes they will never wear out.

While the kids and most adults are looking forward to Christmas and other events in their lives—Dad and Mom just want to hold on to this current time with family as long as they can. When it comes time for Tom’s family to head out for Kansas City, or on Sunday when Tom’s cousin, Erica, and her family leave for Oklahoma or even when others of us leave to travel just across the hill, our “Bye—see yahs,” as Sydney expresses them, have become extra special.

Even though my mom is often reminded that her mom lived to be 102, her farewells have a goodbye depth they never had before. Not content to let her friends and family just come to her chair, she follows them to the door and recently often adds a kiss to her hug that says clearly, “Just in case I don’t see you anymore—know that Grandpa and I truly love you.” It may be her goodbye, but I like to think of her kiss as a blessing she is bestowing on us with love.

Please don’t feel sorry for my Mom. She doesn’t feel sorry for her years and most of us would settle for being slightly “beloved.” Whereas, by Mom’s Mt. Pisgah church, her Ladies Aid group, her friends, neighbors, her family and by me, my mom is truly loved. 

9/27/2000 11:21:14 AM